“We are not our feelings. We are not our moods. We are not even our thoughts. The very fact that we can think about these things separates us from them and from the animal world. Self-awareness enables us to stand apart and examine even the way we “see” ourselves—our self-paradigm, the most fundamental paradigm of effectiveness. It affects not only our attitudes and behaviors but also how we see other people.”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Our emotions are an integral part of who we are, just like our hands are an
extension of ourselves. But it's important to understand that emotions are physical, not spiritual or logical. They're the result of a complex path of chemical and electrical processes, triggered by events in the world around us or within us.
For most of us, the path from event to emotion is short and can be flawed. Trauma,
incomplete knowledge, and other factors can impede our emotional progress and lead to actions that aren't congruent with reality. But that doesn't mean we should ignore or suppress our emotions. Instead, we should acknowledge them and choose when they should influence our actions.
The next time you experience an emotion, take a moment to reflect. Visualize the word that represents your emotion in the palm of your hand. Close your hand around it and acknowledge that your emotions are real, but they don't define you. Take a step back and assess the path that led you to this emotion, looking for any obstacles that may have caused an imbalance or injury.
If the path is clear and the emotion is useful, you can consciously choose to let it influence your actions in the future. But if the path is flawed and the emotion is malformed, it's not useful and should be discarded. Direct your hand to toss it away, but be sure to dispose of it properly.
Remember, our emotions are a part of us, but they don't have to control us. By keeping perspective on our emotions and understanding their role in our lives, we can successfully navigate the world around us.
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