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Writer's pictureFellow Traveler

Reframe your Scorpions

Updated: May 14, 2023


My interpretation of "The Scorpion and the Frog" fable has evolved. Over the decades, what started for me as a cautionary message of distrust in others has become a reminder to pay attention to my own biases and motivations. The story becomes a metaphor for the importance of accepting others and their nature, even when we know they may hurt our feelings.


Let's be clear. The world has many active risks and threats. I'm not suggesting anyone put themselves in jeopardy. If you're in danger, emotionally or physically, get away and seek help now.


Absent any imminent harm to you, consider that the scorpion represents someone in our lives who has a tendency to annoy us, let us down, or hurt our feelings. The frog represents us, and our desire to trust and help others despite the risk to our emotions. When the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across the river, the frog hesitates, knowing the danger involved. However, the frog ultimately decides to help the scorpion, knowing that it is in his nature to act as he does.


As they cross the river, the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, and they both begin to drown. The frog asks the scorpion why he did it, and the scorpion replies, "I couldn't help it, it's in my nature."


In this reframing of the problem, the message is not that we should avoid helping others, but rather that we should practice acceptance of their nature, even if it means accepting that they may hurt our feelings. Just as the frog knew the risks of helping the scorpion but chose to do so anyway, we too can choose to accept others for who they are, even when they are not perfect.


Practicing acceptance means acknowledging that everyone has their own struggles and limitations. It means recognizing that people are not always able to control their behavior or the outcomes of their actions and that sometimes our feelings may get hurt in the process.


In a recent article at curbed.com, Elizabeth Weil wrote about her experiences in a major city. Here's an excerpt:


I rode the bus around the city, scribbling in my notebook: 'face of god, face of GOD', trying to keep myself open to the world as it fell apart. Less than a mile from my house, a woman got on the 24, screaming, “FUUUUUCK you.” Fifteen seconds later, “FUUUUUUCK you,” again. Everybody sitting near her moved away. Eventually, an older guy boarded — mid-60s, watch cap, maybe Jewish, maybe Irish. He opened a beer in a brown paper bag. She screamed, “FUUUUUUUCK you!” He nodded in solidarity.


“All day, every day,” he said, raising his beer to toast.


A small gesture of common humanity. She stopped screaming.


By accepting others and their nature, we can avoid taking their actions personally and move on from negative experiences with greater ease. Start by evaluating your level of acceptance. Start with small aggravations. Work up to things that are very annoying, but not physically harmful.


From this positive perspective of the fable, the message is one of compassion and empathy. It reminds us that we are all imperfect beings and that we all have the capacity to cause harm, whether intentionally or not. By accepting others and their nature, we can build stronger and more meaningful relationships and strengthen our sensitive emotions even in the face of adversity.


/hp


14-May-2023 (Mother's Day)



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